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Sometimes We Need to Pray With Our Eyes Closed

Sometimes We Need to Pray With Our Eyes Closed

I was sixteen and every single one of my girlfriends owned a pair of Birkenstocks. Nine of us in khaki shorts, polo shirts and Birks, all lined up in a picture that I still have, hiding our secret thoughts and individual lives behind a safe uniformity. We had a shared...

When They Cannot Repay You

When They Cannot Repay You

The day we pulled up into our driveway with the first two of our children that we’d adopted -- into the home that had been full of empty bedrooms for years while we waited for them -- we sat with the keys in the ignition while they, buckled into boosters in the back,...

On Tears (and Other Blessings)

On Tears (and Other Blessings)

It is the rare writer who invites you in, not only to their heart but yours, and through the back door — in such a way that words and story are subtly ushering you closer to the heartbeat of God. I read Christie Purifoy's book last summer and I’ve counted down the...

That Voice of Surprise

That Voice of Surprise

She was turning eight on the first birthday that she celebrated with us. I think this was her first birthday ever, as the first years of her life had been undocumented. And I was overwhelmed – a likely coupling. We’d just completed our most recent adoption of two more...

That Holy Loneliness

That Holy Loneliness

"I want a friend who is just like me, Mommy," she said through tears to me, years ago. "I feel alone." She dismissed those siblings of hers who like different songs, and sing to different beats and the spend their time ordering when she wants disorder or...

“I wanted to show you my secret place.”

“I wanted to show you my secret place.”

Several years ago when I was a new mom, my dear mentor and friend casually slid me a book by Sally Clarkson. I didn't know when I started reading that I might find another mentor within the pages, teaching me through her words on paper. Sally has encouraged women all...

I Think I’ll Choose Weak, Today

I Think I’ll Choose Weak, Today

"It was almost like they were suggesting it could ruin our family." It took a minute to register. What my dear friend had been carefully advised against -- adoption -- was the life I was living. Ruined? My mind flashed to Hope practicing her ballet routine for a March...

No More Running On Empty

No More Running On Empty

There’s this thing that happens when I'm introduced to another woman who has adopted. We can know little to nothing about one another and yet share a glance that says “oh, you’ve had a taste of where I’ve been.” That’s likely true of anyone who has walked through...

Hope Takes Practice

Hope Takes Practice

On Christmas morning, I padded around the house in my slippers, stepping over remnants from the annual Christmas show the night before -- the one the children have performed for us since a friend first suggested it as their family's favorite tradition. For the months...

Getting In The Way Of Perfect

Our first home together was a 1930's bungalow, the only remaining vestige of a farm in Crozet, Virginia. When we moved in, then, had 50 nearly-new spec homes around it, transforming it from a charming farmhouse into the gangly outlaw of the neighborhood. In exchange...