I need to get over the feeling of “I can’t” [and move to] “I am.”
What? I read it again. And again.
Her confession cracked open my day. It was His phrase, through her, over what He is doing in my life. I’ve lived a lifetime of “I can’t”, inhaling lies of the enemy spoken over me as if they would one day be declarations on my tombstone.
I had just unknowingly spent more than our budget, spoken unfiltered words to him, and now had a child unraveling at my bedroom door. Failure — it seeped under the doorframe of my heart. A small crack in the wall, untouched by the Father, and before I know it, I’m toxic.
The battle against my heart is for me to live out “I can’t.” And the One who is winning me back is doing so by imparting a new phrase: “I am.”
I am because He is. I am because He lives inside of me. I am because of my Father. We are old money, my Daddy — the King — and I. This inheritance has been set aside for me since before I was born. The only requirement is that I believe it. It starts with belief.
And what I believe, I will, then, do.
But in order to believe “I am” over me, I have to know who He is. Without His Word as my guide, I am lost.
So goes another Monday adoration. Is it too bold to call it a revolution? Your notes, emails and comments are telling the story**. Adoring the God-Man, according to what His Word says He is, changes things. It’s changing me. It’s changing you.
(Each Monday, the column of adoration to the right-side of my blog moves front-and-center, here, and I invite others who are doing the same — stretching their heart to lift God’s Word up and back to Him, despite every obstacle the day presents — to add their link below in the comments section. You can link people back here from your post by grabbing the code on the right side of my blog. If you don’t have a blog but are, yourself, a lover of words and of God and of God’s word, feel free to add an adoration of your own in the comment section. Whether there is one of us or one hundred — and even if the words are written “merely” on our hearts — we will give Him the praise He’s due.)
His eyes like a flame of fire. Revelation 1:14***
Your eyes that dreamed up the world before it was formed see through me. You create big, yet do not miss one of my small movements. Your eyes both fashion and restore.
You see me through the lens of refining, and not just who I am now but who I will be. Your eyes pierce through the dark to find light. Your light, within me. You search me out.
I worship You, God who heals as He sees, who sees as He heals. Your vision restores me.
I love You, oh God of new vision. You take what is Yours and make it mine and I can, now, see me differently. Vision of refining, unto something. Unto You. Unto beauty.
Years of fearing what I’m not melt away underneath Your fire-gaze. I find safety in seeing how You see. “I am dark but lovely” (Song of Songs 1:5) she said. You say it to me. Your fire burns away the dark in me. My dark crackles, it sparks and then fizzles. It becomes dust at the feet of Your newness. I am not marked by what will burn through Your refining, but by what I am becoming. Your eyes speak a better word over me.
The heat of Your fire, of Your eyes of fire, is a promise.
There is more. You aren’t finished, not disgusted or disturbed but hopeful. You see Yourself in me and Your vision leads the way to where I am going. Less of me, burned on the alter of Your eyesight, and more of Your beauty overtaking me.
I love You, oh God of new perspective. Be thou my vision.
Photo compliments of Mandie Joy.
**I absolutely treasure your stories. I love the memorials coming my way. What’s being erected over your lives is fuel in mine: He is good. With a life of four-being-restored and two of us not too far ahead of them, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to respond to every email, message and comment. Though the demands under my roof may not allow much time to respond to these, please know I am honored by what you’ve sent me and the time you took to tell me your story. They are gifts to me.
***For a context to this little space on my blog, read: Why I Adore. For a more detailed description of how to start adoring Him in your day-to-day, read: Showing Up. You can easily subscribe to these devotional meditations as they are delivered, by using this feed: http://www.EveryBitterThingisSweet.com/posts/chai/feed or by entering your email address in the second box on the right-hand side… (scroll up a bit).