And He shall strengthen your heart. Psalm 27:14**
Like window shopping, my eyes scan this verse and move on. I’ve been here a hundred times and familiarity means receptivity, right?
But today, something new catches my eye. You catch my eye. I pause. Return, resisting what my muscle memory knows to do by putting this in the category of a checked box. I read, and re-read. And You say drink. Absorb. Allow this to challenge your insides.
Age-old words, even written across my history, are new, every day, by Your Spirit who always works to regenerate the old. There is gold in even just one line of Your life on paper. And today I found it. You found it for me.
I somehow accept my weak heart as always weak and view myself through the lens of weak almost as an excuse to not have You strengthen. But You, oh God, offer a better way. You take broken places in me and offer to make them wholly Yours.
You move against all odds, against all of what my flesh might say is me, and You make me Yours. You turn hopeless into holy. Lifelong patterns of thinking that make my heart feel eternally weak and stuck are made to be turned around. You turn my heart around. You replace heavy-laden with strength.
The core of me, my center, is offered another way, by You.
Oh God of my strength, who cuts to the core of my weakness and speaks another Word over me, I worship You.
And in adoring, I turn over my weak heart for strength. Your strength. A holy, other-than strength. One that doesn’t fade with circumstance or uncertainty, but is offered opportunity to be inflamed. Life comes down and You offer for my heart to grow up. I can’t make sense of this. You are so other, God. And, for this, I worship You.
My feet pound the morning pavement, my mind racing faster than my race-pace with the same old lies — same old death packaged as “just me” — and You interrupt. This isn’t “just you”, Sara, You say. This is deep weakness, brokenness at its core.
And I have another way.
The end of weak me, the slowly-sinking-lower into what seems irretrievable, is just the beginning for You.
When I mutter a feeble yes, You strengthen.
I adore You, strong Father.
You turn me around. You turn my insides upside down. And I worship.
**So what do I do with these posts, you ask, other than just read them? First, if you haven’t yet, read: Why I Adore to give you a context for this little space on my blog. (This post also gives context.)
If you are compelled, I invite you to participate. Set up a space and time in your own life to begin adoring. Over laundry or dinner dishes, on your commute to work, or in the wee morning hours — ten minutes is a great start. You can use the verse I list here every day or two as a launch pad for your own adoration.
Then practice praise.
Add to my adoration here, by posting a comment with your own words back to God about God …or hide it in your heart.
I promise your weary soul won’t regret it.
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Additionally, all of the Morning Chai Posts can be seen, in the order of posting, by clicking here or adding this address to your reader: http://EveryBitterThingisSweet.com/posts/chai