Just Another Chance …

At twenty-three when every-day demonstrations of this new love we’d uncovered seemed as simple as breath, an extra star on the calendar over February 14th was unnecessary.

At twenty-six when we finally dropped “new” in our newlywed existence, Valentine’s Day seemed extraneous. Hardly mature, but no longer green, we passed over bears and candies and flowers for seeming deeper expressions of what was being worked out of us and into us through our marriage. We tapped a deeper well, waters desperately needing filtered, and one day of the year to pretend love was light seemed foolish.

At thirty I re-instated it. Hard-lines on our faces from hard years needed exposure to light. A dinner out, a reason to laugh, a day on the calendar was like a tickle to a recently disciplined child. We were loved. We did love. This love was to be celebrated.

And while I’m not into cupids, and bears and candies would qualify as tchotchke in our home, I have earmarked today as just another chance to speak life into him.

Because words matter. Mine, to him, more than anyone else’s.

The thoughts about him that slip through my mind, between the breakfast table and mid-morning play-dough, need voice. And our relational God — who gave the waters their form by a word — gave us practice in knowing Him as groom through an earthly stand-in.

So today, like president’s day, groundhog’s day, grandparents’ day, and next Tuesday, and the following Wednesday … is just another chance to make the love of the Man that is changing me, real to the man he is using to do so.

Nate, you have been used to turn my world upside down. For many years I resented this, but somewhere in there gratefulness sprung up and has since produced the tree of forever-grateful in my heart.

I like my life upside down.

Thank you for growing up with me, when it was “grow old” that we’d actually vowed. You have callouses to show for years of long-suffering with my fickle heart.

Thank you for not bending. Not flinching. Not leaving.

I lay life’s highest compliment at your feet: you make me want to know Him more.

And you also make me laugh. A lot.

And you laugh at me. A must.