When Little Eyes Look Up

The car was brimming with towels and snacks and goggles as they talked over the music in a frenzy of anticipation. It was a family day, a Hagerty favorite, all-around. There was a pause among their eager little voices just long enough for me to catch her mumbling.

“Looks like it’s gonna rain,” she said, louder than a whisper, but not loud enough to invite commentary.

The sky was crystal, not a cloud in sight. Rain wasn’t in the forecast for days.

Her words showed her hand. If you live by giving regular permission to worst-case-scenario expectations when they are possible, the situations that are mere longshots for disappointment still end up getting tainted with that soot.

Though my girls each had years unshaped by me, their struggles aren’t too far from mine. A child expecting rain from a spotless sky when she’s young practices a habit that matures with age, if it’s not interrupted. How many times have I let my mind cave into fear of what might be only to find I missed an opportunity to inhale Him in that moment He’d given me?

[Continue reading over here today, on Mother’s of Daughters –>]

View All Posts

Recent Blog Posts

When You Find Yourself Hopeless on Mother’s Day

There’s one kind of woman that still makes me cry. She stretches big bows around pink wrapping paper and makes casseroles when the mama is still hobbling the stairs and bleeding after-birth and she might as well start a pinterest account just for one year-old birthday parties — she’s been to so many. But her womb is empty. She laughs as parents recount toddler…
Continue

What Does it Mean to be Successful?

It’s Sunday night, and the only light in our foyer is from the moon, stretching its arm-beams across our lawn and bringing the outdoors inside with its reach. The house is at rest. Finally. It’s as if we all sighed — the walls, the keyboard, the well-loved doormats and me — when the last child turned off her light. Time lapse would have revealed sparkling…
Continue

The Gift of Limitations

It was a rambling college-town that hosted the race that was to be my last for a long time. It is a town where narrow dirt-and-dust roads lead to horse farms with near-perfect views of the Blue Ridge and millionaires shamelessly drive beat-up old Volvos. Eccentric. Every year, the allure of this four-miler, with its humanitarian push and socialite atmosphere,…
Continue

God Wants Our Sad

This friend’s eyes were some of the first to read the manuscript that I’d almost tucked under my mattress, hoping it would only be shared between me and God. As a timid response to the whisper from Him — write your story — I stayed up into the wee hours of the night and clicked away at the keys during nap-times. Then that…
Continue

I Share a Bloodline With The Children We Adopted

“Look, she’s calling you mommy!” said a beautifully well-intentioned friend, wanting to celebrate just how quickly we’d become a family. My little girl was building with legos in the corner and her less-than-nimble fingers needed help piecing them together. She called me mommy when she was hungry and when she needed help in the bathroom, too. We adopted our first…
Continue